Thursday, December 17, 2015

Pretty things can come out of scars.



One time I read something along the lines of: 

“There is people that still thinks that pretty things can’t come out of scars”


Let me tell you: they can.
pretty things come can come out of scars.
they come with a ravishing force waking you up at the middle of the night.
they come in the form of obsessive thoughts.
of anxiety attacks.
and tears.

For me, all of this is beautiful.
I have scars because of all of that.
Or I have all of that because of my scars, I don’t really know.


some people think that you can choose not to be like this.
but let me tell you again: you can’t.
thats why they are called scars.
scars fade, but never go away.
for some you are a walking complication.
to others you are chaos.
sometimes you cry black, sometimes you cry pink.
but don’t you get it?
pretty things can come out of scars.

Maybe I am a walking complication.
maybe I am chaos.
Or maybe you are.
Maybe this is me trying to convince myself that pretty things can come out of scars.


-M






Monica.
Self Portraits.
December 2015




(I've been having the worst writers block ever, so yes, this is shit)


Tuesday, July 21, 2015

I will die too (I GROW FLOWERS SERIES)


I grow flowers.
I always have.
I do my own thing because it is only me.
and it will be only me for quite some time.
I grow flowers.
I plant my own seeds and grow them.
But sometimes I find myself watching them die as well.
I sit and watch.
and I watch them fade.
I watch the weather do its thing.
the heat do its thing.
I watch the world do its thing.
and sometimes I sit there not doing my thing.

I grow flowers.
I plant my own seeds and grow them.
but yes, sometimes I grow them and kill them.
sometimes I never let them bloom.
I want to let them bloom.
I want them to bloom so much so that I could get lost in them.
get lost in a beautiful garden.
get lost in such beauty and never be found.
I want to live in a never dying garden.
a never dying spring.
a never dying happiness.


But I am human.
and just like everything else I will die too.



-M







Self Portraits
May-July 2015

(I took this photos in May and I just got around to upload them)






Tuesday, June 30, 2015

box of paradoxes.



There is no better way to describe myself but to say that I am a big box of paradoxes.
That is all I am.
I am here and then I am not.
I am the strongest girl you'll ever know but I can break in a second.
people like me and then they leave.
You'll leave but I still stay.

I am a big box of paradoxes because I keep telling myself I am an open window but every time I look the windows are closed and locked.
I want things and then I cant make them happen.
I try to run and my feet trip by themselves.
I am free in a cage I call my hometown.
but I am free.

I want to experience it all.
and then I don't want to experience a thing.
I don't really know if there is more.
if it is, I want to feel it.
I want to feel you.
I am scared but I don't want to be.
I was born with a lot of walls build around me and everyday I take one down.
But they outnumber my days.


Its been 23 years that I've been with myself.
Just me.
and I don't complain about that too often.
I like it.
but I wish I didn't.
My solitude is my biggest paradox.

i've grown into my own skin for the past years.
and yes, sometimes I wish I grew into someone else's skin.
but for now is just me.
just this skin
just this big box of paradoxes.
nothing and everything at the same time.
a girl that dreams that she has everything.
and a girl that lives like she has nothing.

I can give you the sweetest days of your life.
and the roughest days too.
I can give you the biggest smile you've ever seen
and I can also drown you in oceans of tears.

I am an ocean.
I am a tide.
I am a constant change between yes and no.


-M












Self Portraits
April-June 2015









Friday, June 5, 2015

Némesis


(one of the posters and images used)



I am so excited because finally I am able to release the entire series of these pictures. It was a commissioned shoot I was really excited to participate in. The project is called NEMESIS and it is a fashion show that the fashion students at my university are putting together.

The idea behind the fashion show or where they are taking their inspiration its in greek mythology and mythological creatures, so they wanted some dark and mysterious pictures for their publicity and advertisement and well, I had the perfect team to make it happen.

The story behind this series is that there is this beautiful woman, dressed in white and very pure but you can see she's got some attitude and as the story progresses she starts turning into this dark and mysterious creature that you can see at the end.

The entire team form the people that hired me, the model, make up artist and everyone else that helped they were awesome and I am thankful they trusted me to create their image for this important event, so thank you!
So now, the pictures:
(click to enlarge them)
-------------------------------------------
Por fin puedo publicar esta serie de fotografías que moría por ganas de hacerlo. Fue un trabajo para un proyecto que me dio mucho gusto formar parte. El proyecto se llama NEMESIS y es una pasarela y evento de moda organizado por los alumnos de moda de mi universidad.

La idea detrás de esta pasarela o la inspiración es la mitologia griega y las criaturas mitológicas asi que querían imágenes oscuras y misteriosas y afortunadamente conté con el equipo perfecto de personas para llevarlo a cabo.
La historia detrás de esta serie es que está esta bella mujer vestida de blanco y pura, pero al mismo tiempo podemos ver que es una mujer con actitud y conforme la historia progresa vemos como esta bella mujer se va convirtiendo en una criatura oscura y misteriosa pero bella al mismo tiempo.

Todo el equipo, desde las personas que me contrataron, hasta la modelo, maquillista y todas las demás personas que ayudaron ese día fueron el equipo perfecto y gracias por confiarme con la imagen y fotografía para la publicidad de su evento!

Ahora, las fotos:
(Click para verlas en grande)












 (this one with the hands is my favorite)








2 pictures were also printed on a local magazine for advertisement:









Tuesday, March 3, 2015

You have the saddest eyes.

I had completely different words to share with this images but found these and I just felt like I should post these words instead.
These are some photographs I took at the start of the year but was unsure about uploading.






You have the saddest eyes I've ever seen
they are a mixture between wild and nostalgic.
you smile, but they don't.
you go wild, and they go wild with you but the sadness is still there.
I see it.
And I am amazed at how people don't.
I guess it is because I am very familiar with them.
they look back at me in the mirror every day.
yours are different but all the same.
I can see through you honey, but you don't know that yet.
I don't know if you'll ever know.
I don't know if your sad eyes will ever let you see.
I don't know if they will ever let you see me.
and you.
or us.
but believe me when I say: You have the saddest eyes.
It takes one to know one.
so take it from me.


-M