"You've become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond"
My guard is always up.
Wether it is from a situation or someone. I always try to prepare myself for the worst, and "the worst" always come.
Or the complete opposite, nothing comes.
I never expect anything from anyone.
But I trust people.
I just never believe things actually happen.
Because they never do.
So that way I avoid getting disappointed.
Like I've said before I am a creator and an architect of things that haven't happened yet, of days that may never happen.
Sometimes I find myself getting excited about something but somehow I always come back down.
I have to.
I protect myself, maybe I even do that too much that then I find myself afraid and skeptical of things.
And I don't want to be afraid of things.
I don't want to be afraid of you.
I don't want to be afraid of the situation.
Whatever that is.
and I certainly don't want to be skeptical.
I just need to live knowing that some days I may get disappointed, and that other days I may get what I want and need.
I need to learn to respond to good things.
I need to believe that things actually happen.
Things, situations, people, they all happen.
I guess I just need to learn how to see it.
how do I start?
How do I respond?