Sunday, June 1, 2014

How to Respond

"You've become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond"

My guard is always up.
Wether it is from a situation or someone. I always try to prepare myself for the worst, and "the worst" always come.
Or the complete opposite, nothing comes.
I never expect anything from anyone.
But I trust people.
I just never believe things actually happen.
Because they never do.
So that way I avoid getting disappointed.
Like I've said before I am a creator and an architect of things that haven't happened yet, of days that may never happen.
Sometimes I find myself getting excited about something but somehow I always come back down.
I have to.
I protect myself, maybe I even do that too much that then I find myself afraid and skeptical of things.
And I don't want to be afraid of things.
I don't want to be afraid of you.
I don't want to be afraid of the situation.
Whatever that is.
and I certainly don't want to be skeptical.
I just need to live knowing that some days I may get disappointed, and that other days I may get what I want and need.
I need to learn to respond to good things.
I need to believe that things actually happen.
Things, situations, people, they all happen.
I guess I just need to learn how to see it.
and respond.

how do I start?
How do I respond?


Self Portraits.