Monday, March 4, 2013

I Live With It .





This is the beginning of a new year, and the beginning of my 21 years of life. I still feel i'm seventeen .
 This year started with big changes, moving out from home for the second time to only move back in again a month later. 
I made the right decision.

In these past 3 years i've learned that no matter how hard you try or how bad you want something you can't get it if you are not alright. if your mind and soul are not on the right place it doesn't matter what you do, you will fail.
I failed.
I failed, more than once. Maybe I failed even 3 times.
But i don't think i call them failures anymore, it was just me trying to find my place in life.

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing i know"
Sadly, i agree with this quote by Hemingway.
The more you know, the more you see and understand things you get deeper into a dark hole.
This "life intelligence" makes you over think stuff, makes you wonder things nobody else would think or wonder about and it makes you a perfectionist, and by this you often get disappointed.
Disappointed by everything.

Thats why they say ignorance is bliss.
But honestly, to hell with that.
I couldn't live my life based in ignorance, not even if i wanted to or not even if i tried. 
I rather be who i am, with mental issues and all.
At the end of things or at the start of things, you'll realize that this reality and these problems are not something you will be able to get rid of.
You'll just learn to live with it.
That's what i do.
I live with it.
I live with all of it.
And if after all of that, you are actually a bit happy, then you achieved the greatest intelligence.
And maybe, MAYBE, we can prove Hemingway was wrong.



..at least for a while.

Monica.






Self Portraits
All taken by me