My mind plays games with me sometimes, or most of the time .
Sometimes i feel that i've been chosen out of thousands of people to just be a very complicated person or live a very "complicated" life . I have everything i need and i'm very grateful but it's not about that. I also have this other thing, my mind. And it can work either ways: as a blessing and as a curse.
A blessing cause it makes me have imagination, be inspired and dream, but its a curse too because those same things take me really far from reality.
I over think every thought that goes into my head and mind and i know that is never NEVER good.
I've been told that because of that i'm never going to be able to be at peace with myself, that i'm never going to be able to relax and that i'm going to complicate life for myself when it should be really easy.
I have my times of happiness but all of the sudden, my mind comes in.
I'm not saying i'm not happy, i'm saying that it's different, i'm different.
I can remember every thought thats been through my mind since i was little, i remember what i used to say, what i felt and who i was. I realize i'm still that 11 year old girl with the same dreams and the same mind. I need to keep myself busy and my mind busy so i won't start thinking all this crazy things that keep me awake at night.
I don't sleep, i can spend the entire night just thinking and do that every day, sometimes its good but some other times i get tired. Mentally.
I have my good days and even though i do complicate things and that even though i may grow up being the same just like that 11 years old girl i once was and still am i am me, with my heart, soul and complicated mind i am me and i would never give up that.
All off these makes me who i am and it gives me passion for the things i like and i think you can see that in my photography work.
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That photograph is at least two years old, but i haven't post it here on the blog and it's me representing how i feel when my mind play games.
On other news, some of my photographs were printed on a local magazine:
it's a small feature but i really liked it, people in my city got to see it so that makes me feel good.
And FINALLY! i was able to take pictures with my new 5D Mark II and i had this idea in my mind for a long time and i was finally able to do it. I worked with an amazing team including the model and designer, they were all great. I have a very small sneak peek for you to see:
Just a cellphone pic of the camera screen. I'm about to retouch them so as soon as i have them i'll share them with you!
Monica
Hi Monica! Glad to see you're still pursuing your dream!
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic about thinking. I'm much the same when it comes to over thinking. I am a very analytical person, so I find myself analyzing everything from every angle sometimes. Although I will say with age I have mellowed somewhat, so I guess because things don't bother me as much now, I don't over think and analyze as much as I did before. I think I just accept things more now. I still have occasions when I have so much on my mind at night that I can't sleep. I just keep thinking about the same things over and over. I have had some success with just deciding to clear my mind. When I am able to do that I can drift off to sleep.
Your comments are interesting, about your mind and your imagination. It makes me curious to know what kinds of thoughts you have exactly, and does it apply to your creative work, or does it apply to your life in general? Is it like a perfectionist mentality, where you always think you should be doing something more, or better, or differently, or it won't be exactly right?
Your pictures look great as usual, and I look forward to seeing the pics from your latest shoot!
Jonathan in South Carolina
Hi Jonathan! thank you for reading what i write here :)
Deleteand about my thoughts, every little thing becomes a war at my mind and it doesn't really matter what it is, it can be something really simple of my life in general or about my creative work but at the end i over think everything. And yes, it also is a kind of perfectionist mentality as well, i'm always thinking about what else i can do or what can i change but because of that i always end up doing nothing, so it's not good.
i'm working on this mentality so hopefully i'll be at peace with myself :)
Have a nice day and thank you for visiting my blog :)
Monica.
The mind is like a wild horse, you have to treath it with a lot of patience and love because it will calm down so that you can ride it.
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